4 Powerful Questions That Will Change Your Life

Sometimes, changing the questions you ask can truly change your life. 
Notice the question you have even about this photo? The speed at which we notice "something is wrong" - it's sideways! Even in this moment get curious. Pause - notice....

Have you ever noticed how that internal voice within you can be critical and judgmental, often posing questions that begin with 'Why'?

'Why' is often a question that brings defensiveness and judgment into our minds. We might ask ourselves, 'Why did I do that? Why am I so stupid? Why does this always happen to me? Why can't I get over this? Why do I keep doing this?' These kinds of questions feed shame and guilt, creating patterns and behaviors that keep us stuck.

I have learned four powerful questions that have helped me shift many events and circumstances in my life, ultimately transforming my relationship with myself and others.
These questions are:

1. What happened?
2. What did I want to have happened?
3. What's missing?
4. What's next?     

There is a unique relationship between the first two questions: 'What happened?' and 'What did I want to have happened?' It is often in this space that I can notice and be curious about the many emotions I feel inside. This is where sadness, expectations, resentment, and disappointment can lie. Without acknowledging these feelings, I used to react with so much impulsive behavior. Noticing what I feel between these two questions has helped me take the time to pause, wonder, and be curious.

This reflection and awareness then allows me to address the second set of questions: 'What's missing?' and 'What's next?'

Without identifying what's missing, I often lack clarity or articulation around a certain situation and feel stuck, making it difficult to answer the final question, 'What's next?'

However, when I process the first two questions, it leads me to the third question. I can then identify, articulate, and make a conscious choice about how I need to respond. It takes time and grace to practice asking these questions of yourself, of life events, and of situations. But the movement forward—the ability to thrive and get unstuck—is so worth it.

Changing your questions can really change your life - starting with your thoughts and flowing out into your relationships!